The Ghost of Mother’s Past

After a staggering eight years of regular therapy, you move on from the misery of analyzing your late, abusive husband and you start to explore other areas of your life. For quite a long time, until I was into my 40s, I always believed what my mother and her family told me: I was bad,… Continue reading The Ghost of Mother’s Past

Crack in the Castle

I recall a time when I was sitting in my former home after the loss of my husband and both parents. I was now a widow, with two children who are living with Autism. I was a stay-at-home mom, living in a home that had been flooded three times, including this moment I'm recalling. I… Continue reading Crack in the Castle

The Circuitous Nature of Self-Care VS Self-Sabotage

I have diabetes. I first "acquired" it through three bouts of gestational diabetes. After the birth of my first daughter, I was borderline Type II, but I didn't really take that great care of myself, for a myriad of reasons. So, when I became pregnant with my son, I pretty much had it again as… Continue reading The Circuitous Nature of Self-Care VS Self-Sabotage

Living with an Invisible Illness

When Fibromyalgia was first mentioned in the medical world, due to its inability to be diagnosed through an actual test (blood, xray, MRI etc), it was mocked and dismissed, causing untold trauma to people seeking help for this debilitating condition. Countless numbers of people fell silent, coming to the realization that many were not taking… Continue reading Living with an Invisible Illness

Anxiety…Just the word makes me anxious

  Yup, that description is pretty much me. Every day, pretty much for as long as I can remember. Years ago, when I was first diagnosed with a panic disorder, PTSD and all the other things that have come to pass, at first, well, just the diagnosis made me super anxious. It took me quite… Continue reading Anxiety…Just the word makes me anxious

These Small Hours

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMfzPbONyVA I simply and truly cannot believe how many years are marked today from the passing of my mom. Having lost so many people in my life in such a short period of time doesn't have a word or description. I've been asked countless times how I endured the loss of my mother, then my… Continue reading These Small Hours

Well That Was Stressful

This summer, I chose to go back to college. Wonderful right? Feeling great about myself, finally pursuing my degree. Yes, until I realized that I was taking FOUR three credit courses in a summer-timed schedule. That means that each class requires about 3-4 weeks of work in one week. So, yeah. Thankfully, two of them… Continue reading Well That Was Stressful

Divergent Destiny

If someone would have told me that years ago I would be facing the imminent loss of my father, so soon after the death of my husband AND still getting over the loss of my mother, I would have called them a liar. I would have said that no one could endure that much in… Continue reading Divergent Destiny

In the Silence I Found Myself

As a survivor of domestic violence and emotional abuse, I've had to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to treat me now the way I was treated in my past. Sure, there are times when there is something said that triggers a memory and makes me anxious and I may… Continue reading In the Silence I Found Myself

Ghosts in the Machine

A long, long time ago in a far away place within my mind, there existed nothing but chaos. There was this resounding, continuous droning in my mind of all the things that I was facing, dealing with, living with...experiencing. I felt I didn't have control of any kind over my destiny, my future, even the… Continue reading Ghosts in the Machine