Damned if you do, Damned if you Don’t

Ah, 2020, the year of fun times, wild adventures, creativity and scrreeeeeeech, nevermind. That was my 2019 post opener. Here we are, 263 months into 2020 and what a ride it’s been. Still in virtual lockdown over here, I have watched as the world around me has slowly returned to some mutated, dangerous semblance of normalcy that, for some reason, has instilled a false sense of security into some people.

Recently, a certain former family member of mine mentioned the idea of getting together for a socially distanced evening. They assured me that they were not going anywhere other than essential trips for doctors, prescriptions and groceries. Then, I read a social media post by an acquaintance and they were checking in at a local restaurant, that doesn’t have any outdoor dining capabilities. Good for them! If people want to engage in risky behaviors, feel free. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop you, but I will not allow my children around you, nor will there be any get togethers. This will prevent any holiday interaction, including Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Nothing I can do. I will stand my ground when I break the news. My children will NOT be allowed to interact with them.

There is no treatment, cure, vaccine, nothing that has come along to treat or help us move on in any way. In fact, it’s bad enough that masks are the only defense we have, yet people are acting like psychopaths about them. That’s fine. I get my products delivered and take care of what I need to in my own way. But here I am again, repeating the same opinions. I can’t help it. I want to keep myself and my family safe and healthy. There is no point whatsoever arguing about it, because it does no good and certainly doesn’t help my anxiety.

Because we haven’t seen enough renditions of the COVID-19 germ, AND it seems this is what people perceive I see when I open the door to get the mail, I thought I would insert an obligatory graphic of it. While this is not what I see, this virus is proliferating unchallenged in our world right now. Yes, we have flu and many other coronaviruses out there as well, but this one earned the title of novel because it’s well…new. Sure, to many I’m just stating the obvious, but for some, this is not even close to being obvious, or factual or in some cases, even real.

My daughter’s friends tell her that her mother is “paranoid”, “ridiculously overprotective” and that I need to “get a grip” and let her “live normally like everyone else”. I will, when we have protection over this. People say I can’t live my life as a hermit and prevent her from living as well. Um, well, cough (just a nervous cough, don’t run away!!) actually, I’m ensuring that we have every chance TO continue to live. I don’t want to see us trapped inside like caged animals, while the rest of the world goes about their day. When I see a video made by someone who is close to dying from COVID-19 and they sit there and lament about their inability to recognize the seriousness of this, it’s so very sad. Finding out too late and regretful statements such as, “I had no idea it was this bad!” or “I thought they were telling the truth when they said it doesn’t affect younger/healthy people!” is just blind ignorance to me.

How many BBQs, pool parties, luncheons, soccer games, classrooms, birthday parties, weddings and other services have to take place where people get sick and die before people wake up to this? You may not have symptoms, your child may not have symptoms, but what about that elderly lady trying to get groceries behind you and you are positive, yet asymptomatic? Are people this selfish about those around them? Perhaps I’m just aware of how cynical people are and am trying to find the good, the silver lining somehow?

Yoda peeking out a window blind…”Neighbors having people over…not social distancing

I have VERY socially active neighbors in a few homes around me. Across from me, there was a large family party with about 25 people. They had a BBQ, kiddie pool, lots of yard/lawn games, everyone hugging, laughing, back slapping. It’s easy to feel slightly jealous and to momentarily contemplate my quarantine continuation. Is it really overkill? Should I just say “screw it”, head out into the world and just hope I don’t get it? Then I realize that if I do that and someone close to me gets sick or worse, dies, how do I then come to terms with it? What if I am the one who loses it all? Sure, paranoia is not a healthy existence. It is monotonous and boring to be inside and repeat the same behavior and activities day after day. However, by continuing to practice all of these behaviors, I feel safer and better able to ride out this misery.

I just wish the rest of us would. Be safe, be well, stay alive.

People self-isolating with books…”Social Distancing…Protecting introverts from real and perceived threats since 1912.

1 thought on “Damned if you do, Damned if you Don’t”

  1. It’s so hard trying to navigate motherhood during this pandemic. We’ve been pretty strict on isolation and have a few family members that just don’t understand our stance. It makes it a little more difficult, but we do the best we can.


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